Talking about HIV can be difficult, especially if you’re thinking about opening up to someone for the first time.
For young people who grew up with HIV and found out about their status a while after their diagnosis, questions may come up as you get older. There will be a growing number of people you may want to talk to about living with HIV: people who already know about your status (parents, carers, doctors, nurses) and people who do not (friends, partners, school teachers).
Overcoming stigma
Stigma and fear of rejection are the main things which stop people living with HIV from sharing their status with others. There is a great deal of misinformation and outdated views about HIV which mean some people see the virus in a negative way. This may cause them to react badly when finding out someone close to them lives with HIV.
Stigma is a set of negative and often unfair or unfounded beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.
The fear of this reaction means some people keep their HIV a secret from others for their whole lives, fearing rejection or even for their own safety. This might also be why a parent or family member who lives with HIV finds it hard to bring up the subject.
A recent campaign from the Terrance Higgins Trust claims that HIV is now more harmful than the virus itself. With effective treatment in place, these negative attitudes and anxieties around a perceived need for secrecy are among the most difficult aspects of living with HIV that we hear about from the young people we work with.
>> Find out more about HIV stigma
Benefits of talking about HIV
There are many benefits if you do choose to talk about your HIV. Feeling freer and closer to loved ones who didn’t already know, for example. Or getting a better understanding of HIV during clinic appointments or at home.
It’s important to have people to confide in and be able to share fears with. Building a network who you can open up to and ask questions, including clinic staff, HIV support workers, family members, and close friends, can be extremely helpful.
How to tell others about your HIV
It can be useful to plan out how you’re going to share your HIV status with someone new. Whilst there’s no wrong way to tell someone, things like being prepared for different questions and reactions, and breaching the conversation in a controlled environment could help.
It’s important to know the difference between who you would like to tell and who you have to tell. You are legally obliged to share your HIV status in certain workplace situations. Find out more about your rights in the workplace.
HIV in your family
Conversations about HIV in the family can also be difficult. Bringing up the subject with a parent when you have questions is not easy.
Telling school or university
You do not have to tell your school, college, or university about your HIV. But it might help teachers be more understanding and make allowances for hospital appointments and other absences.
Chiva runs activities throughout the year which bring young people living with HIV together. The aim is to build a safe place for conversations about HIV, and help young people connect with those going through the same things. Find out more about Chiva’s annual support camp and other activities at the young people link below.
